My Introverted Life


Ever felt like a dead battery in the company of others? I do, If you do too you may be an introvert. Did you know, Introverts make up around 25 to 40 percent of the population too. It’s also a misconception that introverts are shy and socially anxious, again it’s individual but for me, shyness was something I struggled with during my childhood and early adulthood.

Some Classic Signs

You find small talk difficult. Introverts hate small talk and having to partake can cause us to become anxious.

You take energy from being alone and are drained by social gatherings or too much human interaction.

You’d rather stay home than socialise.

Other characteristics are deep thinking, we are natural empaths and are usually creative.

Introvert quoteI am an introvert, my energy is zapped and drained by extroverts or groups of people. (worst case scenario… group of extroverts) I need to have time alone to ‘recharge’ and if I don’t get that time I begin to feel like I might spontaneously combust. I’ll often slope off to the bedroom, lie on the bed and just be alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I can function in society perfectly well, I struggle a little with supermarkets when I’m alone with an overwhelming feeling of needing to leave but that’s only if I let it get the better of me. The supermarket anxiety has improved since having my daughter as she has taken the focus away from me which gave me the distraction I so needed. Having a child sitting up front of the trolley having a tantrum is a whole new kind of distraction. She’s too big for the seat now of course but having her with me helps so much. Lilymay did cause me to blush on one occasion in Sainsbury’s when she was around age 7. Randomly she decided to kick her shoe off and It was done with such force it hit the ceiling with a loud thud and landed in the opposite aisle. Talk about cringe. Luckily no-one was injured. The joys of being a parent.

Introversion or shyness

Shyness isn’t necessarily related to introversion, it can be but goes hand in hand with me. I’ve overcome my shyness to a certain extent, I think for the majority it’s generally something we grow out of but I was so painfully shy as a child. I Literally had to be poked in the back by my parent/s to answer anyone who spoke to me.

Stephen Hawking quote

We become braver as we go through life and I will literally strike up a conversation with anyone nowadays but, certainly for me, it’s not been an easy journey to become who I am today. In a separate issue, I am also cursed with blushing and occasionally the blush was so intense my eyes would water. Not a good look at secondary school and a good reason to be picked on so it seemed.

For my secondary years I attended a private school for girls where I got along just fine and although I didn’t make friends easily I did have a couple of sidekicks who stuck with me throughout. For my final year I was moved to a regular mixed comprehensive school, pretty awful to say the least. I found it terribly hard to fit in joining a new school so late on and well, I didn’t really fit in at all.

I was teased for coming from an all-girls school and just generally picked on. Some of the girls in my tutor cottoned on to my blushing and would shout out my name and then laugh at me as my cheeks flamed up. This was a fun thing to do (for them) apparently but at my expense. Needless to say, I loathe bullying of any shape or form and am forever watchful over my daughter as she continues her own school journey.

Unfortunately blushing is a trait amongst the women in my family, my mother, sister, niece and also my daughter. We are all cursed with it but for me, it’s so much easier these days. I still have the odd one in the most silliest of circumstances but the distraction technique seems to work quite well for me to control it in some way.

Living with Introversion 

I love being around my family but If I spend long periods of time around Dan and/or Lilymay I start feeling that I need to be alone for a short time. It’s not that I don’t like their company, just that I need that recharge time and then I’m fine.

I enjoy my own company I’m never bored and quite happy doing my own thing. In fact, I’m perfectly happy being at home. We live very rurally, we do have neighbours but we don’t see much of them, I prefer this to living around lots of people.

I have lived around people before whereby whenever I left the house there would be someone around and I’d feel obliged to engage with them when really all I want to do is go about my business without having to talk to other people every time I want to nip to the shop.

As I mentioned earlier introversion has a spectrum and although I have some classic signs, realistically I’m somewhere in the middle, I used to absolutely love socialising and nights out with the girls, usually two or three friends; but if there were more than that I really didn’t enjoy myself much and felt completely drained by the end of the night.

Over the years I have accepted the way I am, I make sure I get my alone time even if it’s just ten minutes, it allows me to process high levels of stimulation which I am sensitive to and then I can return, recharged and ready to start again.

Are you an introvert or somewhere on the spectrum?

Further reading: The Irresistible Introvert by Michaela Chung is a fascinating book and definitely worth a read. Otherwise visit her website for more information: Introvertspring


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15 Comments

  1. August 25, 2017 / 8:35 am

    Thanks for sharing. I am an introvert too, and in a way quite proud of it. I always love time with myself.

    • Samantha
      August 25, 2017 / 9:47 am

      Hey lovely, are you? I’m proud of it too. We are who we are! Thanks for reading 🙂

  2. Kayleigh
    August 25, 2017 / 8:36 pm

    This is like reading my own thoughts! I can relate to this exactly and I couldn’t have put it better myself. I go red so easily and my heart bangs so fast if I see someone unexpectedly or something unexpected happens, I panic so quickly! Glad I’m not alone – loved reading this! I also really enjoy my own company and just doing what I want to do 🙂 xxxx

    • Samantha
      August 25, 2017 / 9:00 pm

      Aw yes I know exactly what you mean. Going red is so embarrassing! There’s a quote which I meant to add to my post which reads ” shyness has ruined so many good opportunities ” going red and being shy has really held me back in life but I’m getting there these days. You’re not alone lovely. Thanks so much for reading! Xxx

    • Samantha
      August 26, 2017 / 8:28 am

      Me too! Thanks lovely, it’s nice some of you can relate. There’s more of us Introverts around than you think! X

  3. August 30, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    I am totally the same. I was also painfully shy as a child too! And I much prefer staying in than going out but when I do go out I’m definitely the same, more than a few people going out together is too much for me! I loved reading this post though, nice to know we’re kind of similar!

    Ellie x

    elliesbitsofbeauty.wordpress.com

    • Samantha
      August 30, 2017 / 8:20 pm

      Aw thanks lovely. Hope you’re getting over your shyness. I definitely think it gets easier over time. I was in an art shop today and I asked the old guy on the desk for a particular product and just went bright red! Pathetic really, just strikes for any random reason. God knows what he must’ve thought haha. I’m not usually quite that bad though. We sound similar! Nice to know there’s more like me around. Thanks for reading sweetie. Xx

      • September 4, 2017 / 7:50 am

        Aw I definitely am but it varies with different situations really! I get quite anxious in those situations too but I’ve got so so so much better! Yes definitely, and you’re welcome lovely it was a fab post xx

    • Samantha
      August 30, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Just noticed half the first sentence was missing! Random. I swear wordpress does strange things to my posts! I’ve fixed it now 😊xx

  4. September 4, 2017 / 9:15 am

    Loved reading this. The book is tempting, since I really enjoyed Susan Cain’s Quiet and hadn’t seen this one before. When I read Quiet I began to feel like being introverted was actually my superpower rather than something to try and force myself out of in order to fit in. Explained a lot about why I feel more comfortable working and relaxing on my own, but I still very much need the right people in my life – normally sensitive ones like me. It does seem to get easier with age. I’m not afraid of people and their loudness anymore. Beautiful post and thanks for sharing. ❤

    • Samantha
      September 4, 2017 / 11:17 am

      I totally agree with your super power theory and the whole thing easing with age. I’m a deep thinker and have a great deal of empathy which I feel is a wonderful thing to have.

      The book you mention ‘Quiet’ I haven’t heard of that one so I’ll have to have a look at that. Love hearing from fellow Introverts. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts on the book! I’ll definitely have a look.
      Xx

  5. September 6, 2017 / 10:11 pm

    I think it’s a great thing to write a post like this because there’ll be so many people that will relate to you or somewhere as you say, in the spectrum.
    I don’t mind small talk…not a massive fan but I can do it if I need to, but in the past I suffered with depression, which although that was treated and dealt with years ago now, I still (like many people) get days where people generally drive me mad and I’d rather just be on my own, doing my own thing and am not in a social mood at all. When I’m really busy, if my head is full to capacity I can’t deal very well with other people. Not sure what that says about me really! haha! I think we all need ‘alone-time’ to gather our thoughts!! Great post though! xx

    • Samantha
      September 6, 2017 / 10:42 pm

      Bit scary sharing a personal one but like you say, lots of people can relate on some level. Hope you’re managing your depression these days. I’m the same, I feel really crappy some days. If it’s been a high stimulation day I feel like I need to empty my head by being alone for a bit. Like a reset button.
      Thanks lovely. Appreciate you reading xx

      • September 6, 2017 / 10:54 pm

        Yeah I haven’t needed treatment since before Ryan was born so 11 years now but I’ve had times of being on the edge of going back to the docs. I manage to control it but I do run out of head space sometimes. Definitely need a reset button some days! xx

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